I live in Honolulu and when I heard that part of "Godzilla" was going to be filmed there, I was excited. I was convinced that it was going to be a huge blockbuster sci-fi flick; maybe even one of the best of the year. For the first ten minutes, I was sure I was right.

Turns out the scene of the big footprint was the only one shot in Hawaii. That was sort of disappointing. Seeing Ferris Bueller squirm through two and a half hours of bad dialogue was a bigger disappointment. He plays a hapless archaeologist who discovers the giant footprint of the mutant lizard and follows him to New York City. In the ensuing melee, he hooks up with his college sweetheart (why?) and watches the city get trashed.

Watching "Godzilla", I was reminded of many of the same things I felt about "The Lost World": no character development, unclear motivations, loose ends galore. At least "Lost World" didn't have a love story tossed in for good measure. Ferris, (I mean, Dr. Niko Tatopolous) meets up with Audrey, the girl he went out with in college. Audrey dumped Niko for another guy, and ten or so years later, they meet during the big lizard's rampage. All is good until she double crosses him again. Maybe director Roland Emmerich felt he didn't have a long enough story without this sub-plot. It just adds another whole frustrating and incomprehensible element to a plot you can't even follow. For some reason, they dragged Jean Reno ("The Professional") into this mess and didn't even give him anything decent to do but chew some scenery.

A good action movie allows you to turn off your brain. There is plot, but not too much, and what there is is fairly simple. Here, they packed in plot that simply doesn't go anywhere in some places and loses you in others; Jean Reno's character being the best example. I knew he was sort of a semi-bad guy, but I didn't know why. Instead of just watching the story unfold, you're straining, wondering, "okay, what just happened? What is the deal with that?"

Matthew Broderick starred in "Ferris Bueller" in the mid-eighties and he has still yet to wipe that kid-skipping-school smirk off his face. I wasn't sure if he was really that bad or if he just wasn't trying. Maria Pitillo (Audrey) sure wasn't. She played her part like some washed-up soap actress.

Ick. Maybe "Dinosaur" will wash this taste out of my mouth.






Recommended:
No

Video Occasion: None of the above